Some programs ask participants to submit letters conveying their experiences with attending a BIPP program. We acknowledge Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse (AVDA) for sharing these letters. Below is a sampling:

“I’ve regretted being violent with my wife since the day it happened. I’ve regretted putting my family through so much trauma and distress and I’ve wanted to do whatever I could to help prevent it from ever happening again. I wanted to change myself and any destructive tendencies that lurked inside me. That’s the key for me…change. (The BIPP program) has helped me a lot more than I expected it to. The class structure is very conducive to openness and honesty. We all sat in a circle and shared our experiences with each other and developed a special camaraderie between us. Dishonesty, denial, blaming or vagueness was quickly called out in the group. We had all been in similar situation and knew when one of us was being less than truthful. Fortunately most of us were able to work through our fear and pride to get to the heart of the matter. For a long time I felt that I was the one who had been wronged and that I had just reacted to that with violence. I felt that my actions were sort of justified. Once I really took responsibility for my actions, however, I was able to realize that no one made me do anything. I chose my actions and I alone am responsible for them regardless of what anybody else did.”

“Through the Battering Intervention & Prevention Program I have learned the fundamentals of living a non-violent lifestyle. With the help of my group and it’s facilitator I’m now on the path to break the cycle of domestic abuse. I’m deeply thankful to the BIPP program for helping me recognize and change the abusive behavior that once plagued my life and those that surrounded me. The tools provided by BIPP have taught me to be accountable for my actions and responsible for the outcome of my future.”

“Having been in this program the last eighteen weeks, and being involved with others in my class has been a good experience for me. Although at first not knowing what to expect, but desiring to know and learn about myself and abuse, both violent and non-violent, the knowledge and understanding I received through these classes about this behavioral problem, along with the interaction and life stories of my classmates, helped me to recognize and identify myself and my life of violence and abuse. The result of this knowledge, awareness and the interaction has helped me to change my ideals, not only about my specific abusive situation that brought me here, and the people involved, my ex-wife and my daughters, but a change in my ideals that can be used in relationships with all people and life. I have fully accepted the responsibility for my behavior for which I realize I had the power of choice to control. As we sat at the park some weeks ago, I had the privilege of sitting with my daughters and talking earnestly with them about that prior incident, and how it affected me and them as well. I talked to them about the knowledge and understanding I have received in these classes and the evidence of the change that learning has made in my life. Also, I talked about my plan and goal to continue to live a non-violent and non-abusive life, and how I pledge to help others to do the same. I told them how deeply sorry I was for what I did, that it was not a good thing to do, and I asked for their forgiveness. My plan for a life of non-violence and abuse is simply to continue using the information I have received by practicing it and impressing it on others, so that they will have an awareness that will lead them to a life change of non-violence and abuse. I will continue to focus on identifying and recognizing my anger points, choosing to remain calm, knowing when to take a time out, seeking compromise in an unfair situation, dealing fairly and justly with others, and taking responsibility for my actions. My prayer and hope for all participants, beginning with myself, is that we make an asserted effort not only to graduate, but live our changed life to change the lives of everyone we come into contact with, to an awareness of what violence and abuse is, and help them to make the change.”